Countdown to Baby's Gender

14 days!

Just 14 days and we find out if it is Courage or Story who is growing inside me!

I cannot tell you how exciting and how almost frustrating it is - frustrating because I am just dying to know who the little one is!  

One of the downsides to being such the "planner" that I am is that I tend to want things now - once I'm ready, I have a hard time being patient.

So these next 14 days might be trying for me. 

I guess I have to learn to focus on the process and enjoy each moment.

I've started a journal to my baby, as suggested by Preston, and I've titled it

"Before You Were Born."

The clock towers on the cover have to do with the Peter Pan fairy tale, Preston's and my romance, and so much more.

I figure once I find out if it's a boy or girl I can dress the little owl on the front accordingly (since right now it's pretty "girlie").

I'll put the name of the baby on the front too.

The journal consistes of letters to Baby, encouraging him or her, speaking life and destiny over him or her and prophesying over him or her.

It's awesome to just sit with God and hear His heart and love for this little one.

But, I tell you, I feel so limited because I don't know if the baby is Courage or Story.

I feel like once I know, then I can better prophesy and speak specific things over him or her.

And I can't wait for that!

Meanwhile, I have busy and super early mornings at work to pass the time.

I come home, go on the computer for a little bit, maybe - and this is a BIG maybe - I get a few household things done, and then I crash either on the couch or in bed for a good 3 to 4 hours.

This routine is not one I would likely choose.  Except my body is just so exhausted ALL THE TIME!

I cannot wait for when I have more energy - especially with spring FINALLY peeking in here in Fargo.  And I can go bike riding, play outside, exercise...and not take 4 hour naps every day!

But I know it is important to listen to my body and to recognize that there is a beautiful miracle at work inside me!

So, 14 days to go!!

Happy Earth Day!

Isn't it cool that Earth Day falls on Good Friday,

which celebrates sweet Jesus' sacrifice

in saving the whole earth?

I like that...

Here is a tribute to a super amazing man that I love:

I am a man, a king and a servant

I've seen many palaces; I've spent nights in the dirt

I've walked these dirt roads, 

I've sailed these great seas,

I've seen powerful dreams released and increased.

I've had friends that were closer than brothers,

who loved me more than a mother,

and I them.

Yet I always knew it would come to an end.

But the end was only the beginning.

It was only the climax of what is in the happening.

What I am shaping is a new awakening 

of life and purpose in a world that is quaking.

I burn with a vision,

I'm passionate and driven,

and my Father is my favorite companion.

I was born for this world,

born to breathe life into empty souls.

Born to live and die, to die and live.

My paradigms don't fit these minds,

these keys I hold find

hidden doors to hidden times.

I know what what rejection is more than anyone else.

I've injected it as I've wrapped people up in my heart,

as other forces tried to tear me apart.

I know what betrayal is - 

a total derail of what could have been real,

what could have been life,

but instead a love disloyal,

assassinated with a kiss 

and he missed his time to rise.

I embraced him anyway, 

I wish there was another way,

but he died that day

and I followed my way

to my long awaited mortality.

It's for humanity - 

my God's great idea.

My Dad's favorite design

He gave me His vision, a desire to rewind

what was taken from Him.

I've engulfed abandonment, 

absorbed a world's sinfulness

so that it rid me of an sliver of hope

that someone is still there for me.

It was the deepest darkest hour of my life

where even my loving Father turned His face away

where I felt like the weight of a thousand earths

was put on my chest until I died that day

The heaviness that crushed me to the point of death

it was what I had to bear to snatch

my Father's children back

So I released my final breath

remembering the treasure in heaven

I exhaled my spirit, prevailed death,

and restored the standard again

Now I have died and gone below this sad corrupted earth,

I have passed the point of no return,

passed the point of fatal departure

But my Dad, He pulled me up by the hand,

and shocked this world with one command -

"Arise and shine, you shall live!"

and I rose from below to give

this world a chance to breath, to grow,

to fly and soar and kill the foe!

We are restoring a broken world to its original design.

Heaven is our token, 

and everything in it is yours and mine.

Heaven and Earth is waiting to be reunited,

lighted by the face of God.

Be ignited by this taste, 

don't waste what was bought.

I am a man, a brother and a lover

and I am yours

if you'll have me

<3